Monday, February 11, 2019

Tribute to Matt Stone :: Comedy Scripts Comedians Essays

Tribute to Matt StoneEpisode 201 - not Without My Anus Icons provided by Christopher Pirillo at Just South of South Park AdvertFXApplet provided by Secret Sid South Park AnnouncerSince the last South Park youve waited four-spot long weeks to find out who the father of Eric Cartman is. Now, finally, the shocking truth almost Cartmans lineage will not be seen tonight so we discharge bring you the following special presentation.HonkHBC AnnouncerNow, get ready for Canadas hottest action stars. Terrance and Phillip in the HBC Movie of the Week, Not Without My Anus, based on a true story.Canadian Courthouse - 1018 A.M.ScottLadies and gentlemen, before you today sits a murderer. On the night in question, this titan entered the home of Dr. Jeffrey ODwyer, and struck him repeatedly in the head with this hammer. That monster is sitting right over there, and his name is Terrance.Dramatic MusicFartPhillipUh, Terrance, you farted in court.TerranceYes Phillip, Im making a case for our defense. LaughterScottAll of these things link Terrance to the murder hair fibers, blood samples, get wind clippings, a piece of his shirtTerrance looks about confused.ScottA watch with his initials on it, a day planner with the murder scheduled, a haiku called Time to devour Dr. Jeffrey ODwyer. Dr. ODwyer, time to have your head smashed in, with my new hammer. Terrance, you may be a famous surgeon, but youre not God. Je accuse Terrance.TerranceWould you desire a monkey tweezer Phillip?PhillipYes please.FartLaughterTerranceThats called the monkey claw cause it feels like my colon is being ripped apart by a thousand monkeys.PhillipThe monkey claw is smelly.The Judge hammers her gavel.JudgeCome on, get a move-on, I aint acquiring a younger up here.PhillipMy sentiments exactly Your Honor. I see from your dialect that youre Southern Canadian.JudgeThat is correct.PhillipGood mountain of the jury, my client Terrance is an innocent man.FartTerranceOh ho, Phillip, straight off you farted duri ng the closing argument.PhillipI have, havent I Terrance.FartLaughterScottYour Honor, the defense is trying to make a mockery of this court. They think farts are funny, but theyre not.JudgeSustained.PhillipGood people of the jury, my client Terrance is no more a murderer than you or me. He loves puppies and hates mean things. Would a murderer go to the zoo and feed animals like this?Phillip shows the jury of Terrance with a llama.PhillipOf course not. So, in summation, find Terrance innocent, or else hell start you.GaspLaughterPhillipJust kidding. The defense rests.Terrance pounds his fist on the table as he laughs uncontrollably.

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